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Guess what? We're all in this together, feeling overwhelmed and stressed almost daily, and it's a big reason why there's a rise in reports of dissatisfaction with marital sex. But there's hope! Imagine this: you come home from work, and it's like you've been hit by a whirlwind of problems to solve at work, broken appliances to fix at home, and kids with endless demands. You just want to escape reality for a moment, right? And for you, wife, after a long day of work or running

In my coaching practice, I absolutely love using the incredible tool of imagery to empower individuals to conquer the challenges they face! For couples navigating the path of healing from betrayal, imagery helps them vividly envision a future where devastation is transformed into hopeful intimacy, once the hard work of restoring healthy connections is complete. For those grappling with shame, we dive into visualization techniques to reframe their self-image and the situations

Making love with your spouse can have all kinds of flavors. Sometimes you may take things beautifully slow and romantic and speak sweet nothings into one another's ears. You might feel completely emotionally and spiritually connected the whole time and just bask in the afterglow once everything is finished. Usually making love this way lends itself to a connected cuddle afterwards. Other times, though your love making may be a quickie because you're both tired, or rushed, or

I started reading in the book of Proverbs again this morning, and I love knowing that it's the book known as the book of wisdom, written by King Solomon, the wisest earthly king to live in biblical times. It's clear in this book that the overall message is that the minds that lack the wisdom of God's Spirit and truth are foolish and the result is death and destruction. But the mind that is full of God's wisdom bring life and abundance. I don't mean an abundance of wealth, but

When you're critical of yourself.......we are focused on YOURSELF. That means your thoughts are not on the emotional connection with your spouse, but rather you're in your head, thoughts swirling around that steal the joy of becoming one flesh with your spouse during intimate moments. And I don't mean just during sex. What about the times you're cuddling, but your spouse touches your stomach and immediately you freeze because you've started thinking about how that pooch or bu

There's a quiet habit that many people carry into relationships, one that feels safe, maybe even necessary. We wear masks, which make us outwardly feel protected, but actually, they cost us the very thing we're trying to preserve. These emotional masks become a version of ourselves that we present to the world, to even our dating partner, and later our spouse. They make us feel more acceptable. More controlled. Less risky. It might show up as a smile when you're hurting. A s

Pomegranates are like the divas of the fruit world—glamorous and pricey, and they make you work for their company. But hey, who can resist their juicy allure? On a trip to Israel, I discovered that these fancy fruits are VIPs in the Israeli Jewish culture. They're not just tasty; they're a big deal, symbolizing faith and showing up all over the Bible. Think of them as the original influencers, representing fertility, abundance, righteousness, and the blessings of the Promised

One of my biggest missions as an intimacy coach besides helping individuals develop their intimacy with Christ as their first priority, is to see couples grow in their maturity in how they have sex with their spouse. I believe that there is a high prevalence of immature thoughts and actions around sexual intimacy. There's a lot of reasons for this, but I believe that many people are uneducated, lack communication skills, and have a warped view of sex based on media, and more

Sex Toys in Marriage: Connection, Conviction, and Cultivating Intimacy In conversations about sexual intimacy within marriage, few topics stir as much curiosity and tension as the use of sex toys. For some couples, they feel like a helpful tool to enhance pleasure and explore one another more fully. For others, they raise concerns about morality, replacement, or disconnection. Clients often want guidance and direction in this area of their intimacy. If we approach this topic

Not long ago, I was in the Garden of Gesthemane, kneeling by an olive tree, weeping at the thought of the betrayal Jesus faced by His closest followers. The ones who walked with Him, ate with Him, laughed with Him, and witnessed a mountain of miracles by Him. I wondered how in the world they couldn’t even stay awake and pray with Him that night He was arrested. And then I realize that I would have done the same. My spirit has been in the place where it was wanting to follow

I talk to couples frequently who struggle to communicate with their spouse about their sexual desire and pleasure. There are a lot of things that prevent honest and open communication about sex. The main obstacle especially in Christian marriage, is shame. Many times, individuals can struggle with their own desire to try something new with their spouse simply because they are scared it might seem sinful if it's anything besides missionary position love-making on a bed at n

I’m working on some online curriculum I’m really excited about for my premarital coaching program. Consequently, today I was working on a section about protecting intimacy within the marriage covenant by building a fortress around it and anticipating all the fiery darts that come flying through the air aimed to kill, steal, and destroy what God calls good. Sexual sin is running rampant. And I don't mean just in the world. I mean within the church. Among believers who, in the

One of the ways to heighten physical intimacy is through the use of sensory play. Rope can be a beautiful tool that couples can use to create a deeply intimate experience together . It doesn't have to be super complex, but simple. Or, if it's something you'd like to learn more about, it can become as complex as you'd like. Before exploring using rope, I want to start by alerting to safety standards first. Number one, you should never use rope without discussing this with you

Newlyweds usually experience a constant flow of anticipation toward sex. It’s new, it’s fresh, it’s exciting, they can’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off. Once the dust settles and the honeymoon period wears off, many couples settle into more of a routine in their sex life. They might become so busy with work life, chores, and child rearing that they barely connect until the opportunity arises to finally lock the bedroom door. And then they rush to whatever brings orgasm

I admit, I’m slightly hippie, but mostly in my love of nature and having a wandering, free spirit. A part of me didn’t want to actually post this as my title because I’m not a political activist, I think the whole system is broken and I’m just trying to do my part to love people and love God well. Sometimes wars are inevitable and without them we might all be slaves. Christ came to set the captive free. Sometimes we need to go to battle against forces of darkness. But real

Something that's been sitting with me the past few days is this photo I took in Jerusalem last week. This is the very room, a dark and dank pit , where Jesus was kept under the palace of the chief priest, Caiaphas. This was on the night he was betrayed by his closest friends. He would be crucified the very next day. After the Pharisees spit in his face, slapped him and accused him of blasphemy , they lowered him down into this deep stone pit by r opes through the hole y

Another commercialized holiday is around the corner, and with that comes the pressure to buy love cards, balloons, flowers, and chocolates . Some of you may love the idea of celebrating Valentine's Day , and others of you may view it as another unnecessary man-made day meant to spend money. I always enjoyed celebrating holidays in special ways, especially when my children were little and we decorated the house, did fun crafts, and made them feel special. When it comes to roma

Ok, it is absolutely freezing outside, even here in the deep south of the US. Who wants to just skip work, grab their spouse, and get under the covers to keep warm? Going back to my post from Ecclesiastes 4: A Cord of Three Strands , verse 11 states, "Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?" Without modern heating, spooning was a more necessary practice to keep warm in the cold temps of winter. Maybe it's not physically necessar

I’m exploring San Antonio Texas this week and I came upon this tiny island in the middle of the riverwalk. They call it Marriage Island . They perform small intimate weddings on this little island apparently. It’s a cute spot for a couple to declare their love and commitment to each other for the rest of their lives. As I continued to walk down the sidewalk, I thought more deeply about the concept of an island and how isolating it would feel to be on a small island, withou

I recently spoke to a woman whose voice echoed many other women I know. She said she has lost a physical desire to be intimate, for her husband. She often made excuses to avoid sex, and when she did have sex with him, she would just try to “hurry and get it over with” … The thing is, it’s pretty obvious to her husband when she “pretends” and then it just escalates the tension in their relationship and physical intimacy. After we started digging deeper into our conversation,