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One of the ways to heighten physical intimacy is through the use of sensory play. Rope can be a beautiful tool that couples can use to create a deeply intimate experience together . It doesn't have to be super complex, but simple. Or, if it's something you'd like to learn more about, it can become as complex as you'd like. Before exploring using rope, I want to start by alerting to safety standards first. Number one, you should never use rope without discussing this with you

Newlyweds usually experience a constant flow of anticipation toward sex. It’s new, it’s fresh, it’s exciting, they can’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off. Once the dust settles and the honeymoon period wears off, many couples settle into more of a routine in their sex life. They might become so busy with work life, chores, and child rearing that they barely connect until the opportunity arises to finally lock the bedroom door. And then they rush to whatever brings orgasm

I admit, I’m slightly hippie, but mostly in my love of nature and having a wandering, free spirit. A part of me didn’t want to actually post this as my title because I’m not a political activist, I think the whole system is broken and I’m just trying to do my part to love people and love God well. Sometimes wars are inevitable and without them we might all be slaves. Christ came to set the captive free. Sometimes we need to go to battle against forces of darkness. But real

Something that's been sitting with me the past few days is this photo I took in Jerusalem last week. This is the very room, a dark and dank pit , where Jesus was kept under the palace of the chief priest, Caiaphas. This was on the night he was betrayed by his closest friends. He would be crucified the very next day. After the Pharisees spit in his face, slapped him and accused him of blasphemy , they lowered him down into this deep stone pit by r opes through the hole y

Another commercialized holiday is around the corner, and with that comes the pressure to buy love cards, balloons, flowers, and chocolates . Some of you may love the idea of celebrating Valentine's Day , and others of you may view it as another unnecessary man-made day meant to spend money. I always enjoyed celebrating holidays in special ways, especially when my children were little and we decorated the house, did fun crafts, and made them feel special. When it comes to roma

Ok, it is absolutely freezing outside, even here in the deep south of the US. Who wants to just skip work, grab their spouse, and get under the covers to keep warm? Going back to my post from Ecclesiastes 4: A Cord of Three Strands , verse 11 states, "Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?" Without modern heating, spooning was a more necessary practice to keep warm in the cold temps of winter. Maybe it's not physically necessar

I’m exploring San Antonio Texas this week and I came upon this tiny island in the middle of the riverwalk. They call it Marriage Island . They perform small intimate weddings on this little island apparently. It’s a cute spot for a couple to declare their love and commitment to each other for the rest of their lives. As I continued to walk down the sidewalk, I thought more deeply about the concept of an island and how isolating it would feel to be on a small island, withou

I recently spoke to a woman whose voice echoed many other women I know. She said she has lost a physical desire to be intimate, for her husband. She often made excuses to avoid sex, and when she did have sex with him, she would just try to “hurry and get it over with” … The thing is, it’s pretty obvious to her husband when she “pretends” and then it just escalates the tension in their relationship and physical intimacy. After we started digging deeper into our conversation,

This photograph reminds me of the book of Song of Songs in the bible, but I realize it's not realistic of what most wives feel like in daily life. A realistic photo might be a mom with her hair in a messy bun, in sweatpants, and collapsing onto the bed after a very long day of wiping noses, kids screaming, dogs barking, and feeling unseen. I in no way want to paint a picture that life is a fairytale and initiating sex with your husband will look like a magical romantic scene

Sexualized talk started back in the 5th grade back when I was growing up. That was the time I started comparing my body against other girls who were starting to develop breasts and get their periods. I was an 80's kid and all was good until that year in school. Can you relate? I remember kids making jokes and writing the phrase "PEN15" on hands and laughing because they were making an inuendo of the word penis, lol. I also remember still playing barbie dolls with my friend

I don’t recall many conversations with my mom about sex. And definitely none with my father. I bet most of us came from a home that was pretty absent of sex education . What I do remember… one time my mom told me that “If I had sex before I was married” she would be disappointed in me . At that point in my teenage life, I really wasn’t motivated to please her. In fact, I did the opposite of what she expected of me because I had a rebellious heart. I was a girl who felt I had

When I was a little girl, I remember sitting around my grandma's table with my many aunts around me. One of them had made this incredible dessert , and everyone raved at how delicious it was! They laughed and laughed as the aunt who made it called it, " Better Than Sex Cake ". I of course had no clue as a little girl what that meant. But I internalized their comments, and it became one of the cultural messages I received around sex growing up. That message was, sex wasn't t

We’re closing in on the end of the year. How’s the year been for you? Are you tired, worn out? Do you feel excited for the possibilities of the New Year? What’s your overall satisfaction level in your marriage? Have you grown closer or further apart this year? I want you to to take some time this week walking back through this past year . First, do it alone. Ask God to reveal to you how you have shown up for your spouse… how have you built them up, spoke life into them, and

So far in my previous four blog posts on The 12 Gifts of Intimacy during Christmas, I've laid out 12 ideas for you and your spouse to grow in Emotional, Experiential, Spiritual, and Physical intimacy together. For this last post in this series, I'm providing 12 ideas for growing together mentally. These kinds of activities help you engage thoughts and feelings from your spouse. The deeply engaging the conversation is, the better! When couples simply talk about their da

So far, I’ve given you 12 ideas to cultivate Emotional , Experiential , and Spiritual intimacy in your relationship. If you missed those reads, go back and look at my previous blog posts. For this one, I’m going to give you 12 gift ideas to give yourselves as Christmas gifts that can help you keep that romantic and physical intimacy growing… so read this with your spouse and discuss together how you are growing together in your sexual intimacy . Then see if any of these p

I recently took a trip and visited a church that handed out amazing Advent devotional books. I used to focus on the season of Advent more when my kids were young. We'd do the Joshua Tree project or some other family devotional that taught them the Christmas story of Jesus coming into the world. But I admit, as life has changed, I have let go of some of those family traditions. I thought about how important it is to continue this with my husband, and not just for the sake o

So, how’s Christmas shopping coming along? I hope you’ve got your tree up and have bought at least half of your Christmas list of presents so far! As a continuation of my 5 part series, this post constrains 12 gifts of experiential intimacy ideas to do with your spouse. In the first post I shared 12 ideas to cultivate emotional intimacy. In this section, these little mini dates are designed to cultivate fun , creativity , and adventure within your relationship. Having act

Tis the season for buying lots of presents and overspending on the monthly budget... Christmas shopping is fun, but also stressful! This time of year brings lots of opportunities for intimate moments ... maybe a cozy movie with your spouse near the sparkling lights of the Christmas tree and the beautiful glow of a fire, while sipping hot coco, or wine, or hey maybe a bourbon. But it can also be a doozy of a month full of conflict and tension from the added stress of the "to

If I were to create a poll and offer it to the general public asking, “What is the number one thing needed for successful intimacy in a relationship?”, - What do you think the answer would be? I think the top answer would be “ communication”. And I’d say that’s a really great answer because communication is a huge factor in cultivating a vibrant and healthy relationship. It’s not easy for some people to talk about things that create deep intimacy . It makes them feel vulner

I watched a documentary this week, reminding me of my favorite hero of faith, Corrie Ten Boom . Well, Corrie wasn’t even married so why do I write about her in my marriage intimacy blog? Because this woman was full of God’s wisdom . She went through unspeakable things and because of that, she has a perspective about life that we all need to hold onto. After her release from consentration camp, Corrie traveled across the world speaking on the love of Jesus, salvation , and f