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When I first met my husband, little did I know that football would become the third wheel in our relationship. He was head over heels for it, while I couldn't care less. I started feeling like a football widow, and I just couldn't wrap my head around why he didn't see my point. I tried reasoning with him, "What if I wanted to binge-watch romantic comedies all weekend and then some? How would YOU feel?" Let's just say, my analogy didn't quite score a touchdown with him, but he

"How did we get here?" Couples on their honeymoon never imagine it would happen. Afterall, how could they see all the events of life that would add up over time that culminate into living more like roommates than lovers. "Is something wrong with us?" It feels like you're the only couple in the world not having sex. And you imagine that everyone else has a satisfying sex life but you. "Is our marriage in trouble?" The tension keeps building, but neither spouse is talking. It's

Everybody squirms and starts dripping sweat from their foreheads whenever the topic of sex is mentioned in any context within the church. I have felt the tension in the air so thick that I could cut the air with a knife and serve it as a piece of cake to everybody in fellowship hour! It is an uncomfortable topic for sure. I still feel it when I'm talking to most people and, hey, I'm a sex coach! However, there's been a deep consequence for the Church burying it's head into th

Building healthy sexual intimacy in marriage takes intentional effort from both spouses. We all know that media paints a picture that is the exact opposite of effort, so sometimes we need to fight the urge to believe amazing sex should come naturally if we love our spouses or have a high sexual drive. The reality is that spouses often aren't naturally aligned when it comes to sex in a long-term covenant marriage. Does that mean that marriages are destined for accepting non-ex

It's natural for humans to avoid pain points in their lives. We all sometimes just want to bury our head in the sand when things aren't going well. We do this because it can feel unbearable to face consequences, uncomfortable to face failure, disappointing to realize things aren't exactly wonderful. People sometimes rationalize their experience, telling themselves statements like: "It will probably get better." "It's just the season we are in right now." "I don't want to hur

I recently listened to a secular podcast on love and sexuality, where the discussion revolved around the rise of AI companionship. This conversation highlighted how an increasing number of people are turning to AI for emotional support, counsel, and, for some, even sexual gratification. There are articles documenting individuals who claim to have fallen in love with an AI. Given the integration of AI into many aspects of our lives, it's not surprising to hear about these occu

Imagine feeling 100 percent happy, fulfilled, and getting everything you desire in your marriage! While reality might not always align with our expectations, and our spouse can't meet every single one, that's okay! Relationships can be challenging, with conflicts and disappointments, even in areas like intimacy. But guess what? Science tells us that focusing on negative thoughts only makes them more powerful, affecting our emotions and actions. The Bible also guides us, remin

I just read an incredible news article about a woman named Alex. She had an enormous following on social media thanks to her expertise in tarot readings and occult practices. I watched her video, which she shared with all her followers, announcing that she was closing her account and stepping away from the practices that had brought her so much fame. Her message was filled with genuine thoughtfulness, heartfelt love and empathy for her followers. You could truly feel her deep

I'm sure you've had some sexual anatomy 101 courses in school. Think of what it would be like to have more of an anatomy 401 understanding and skill level. We're going to take a deep dive into this because it's really important to understand your spouse's body. Becoming a student of your spouse's body (in addition to their emotional and mental being) is critical for healthy intimacy to grow. It takes time to learn, and that's ok! I've spoken to many couples who have been marr

Guess what? We're all in this together, feeling overwhelmed and stressed almost daily, and it's a big reason why there's a rise in reports of dissatisfaction with marital sex. But there's hope! Imagine this: you come home from work, and it's like you've been hit by a whirlwind of problems to solve at work, broken appliances to fix at home, and kids with endless demands. You just want to escape reality for a moment, right? And for you, wife, after a long day of work or running

In my coaching practice, I absolutely love using the incredible tool of imagery to empower individuals to conquer the challenges they face! For couples navigating the path of healing from betrayal, imagery helps them vividly envision a future where devastation is transformed into hopeful intimacy, once the hard work of restoring healthy connections is complete. For those grappling with shame, we dive into visualization techniques to reframe their self-image and the situations

Making love with your spouse can have all kinds of flavors. Sometimes you may take things beautifully slow and romantic and speak sweet nothings into one another's ears. You might feel completely emotionally and spiritually connected the whole time and just bask in the afterglow once everything is finished. Usually making love this way lends itself to a connected cuddle afterwards. Other times, though your love making may be a quickie because you're both tired, or rushed, or

I started reading in the book of Proverbs again this morning, and I love knowing that it's the book known as the book of wisdom, written by King Solomon, the wisest earthly king to live in biblical times. It's clear in this book that the overall message is that the minds that lack the wisdom of God's Spirit and truth are foolish and the result is death and destruction. But the mind that is full of God's wisdom bring life and abundance. I don't mean an abundance of wealth, but

When you're critical of yourself.......we are focused on YOURSELF. That means your thoughts are not on the emotional connection with your spouse, but rather you're in your head, thoughts swirling around that steal the joy of becoming one flesh with your spouse during intimate moments. And I don't mean just during sex. What about the times you're cuddling, but your spouse touches your stomach and immediately you freeze because you've started thinking about how that pooch or bu

There's a quiet habit that many people carry into relationships, one that feels safe, maybe even necessary. We wear masks, which make us outwardly feel protected, but actually, they cost us the very thing we're trying to preserve. These emotional masks become a version of ourselves that we present to the world, to even our dating partner, and later our spouse. They make us feel more acceptable. More controlled. Less risky. It might show up as a smile when you're hurting. A s

Pomegranates are like the divas of the fruit world—glamorous and pricey, and they make you work for their company. But hey, who can resist their juicy allure? On a trip to Israel, I discovered that these fancy fruits are VIPs in the Israeli Jewish culture. They're not just tasty; they're a big deal, symbolizing faith and showing up all over the Bible. Think of them as the original influencers, representing fertility, abundance, righteousness, and the blessings of the Promised

One of my biggest missions as an intimacy coach besides helping individuals develop their intimacy with Christ as their first priority, is to see couples grow in their maturity in how they have sex with their spouse. I believe that there is a high prevalence of immature thoughts and actions around sexual intimacy. There's a lot of reasons for this, but I believe that many people are uneducated, lack communication skills, and have a warped view of sex based on media, and more

Sex Toys in Marriage: Connection, Conviction, and Cultivating Intimacy In conversations about sexual intimacy within marriage, few topics stir as much curiosity and tension as the use of sex toys. For some couples, they feel like a helpful tool to enhance pleasure and explore one another more fully. For others, they raise concerns about morality, replacement, or disconnection. Clients often want guidance and direction in this area of their intimacy. If we approach this topic

Not long ago, I was in the Garden of Gesthemane, kneeling by an olive tree, weeping at the thought of the betrayal Jesus faced by His closest followers. The ones who walked with Him, ate with Him, laughed with Him, and witnessed a mountain of miracles by Him. I wondered how in the world they couldn’t even stay awake and pray with Him that night He was arrested. And then I realize that I would have done the same. My spirit has been in the place where it was wanting to follow

Overcoming shame in communication about sexual desire in marriage can be challenging. I talk to couples frequently who struggle to communicate with their spouse about their sexual desire and pleasure. There are many things that prevent honest and open communication about sex. The main obstacle, especially in Christian marriage, is shame. Many times, individuals can struggle with their own desire to try something new with their spouse simply because they fear it might seem sin