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Ok it is absolutely freeezing outside, even here in the deep south of the US. Who wants to just skip work, grab their spouse and get under the covers to keep warm??!! Going back to my post from Ecclesiastes 4 "A Cord of Three Strands " verse 11 states, "Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?" Without modern heating, spooning was a more necessary practice to keep warm in the cold temps of winter... Maybe it's not physically nece

I’m exploring San Antonio Texas this week and I came upon this tiny island in the middle of the riverwalk. They call it Marriage Island . They perform small intimate weddings on this little island apparently. It’s a cute spot for a couple to declare their love and commitment to each other for the rest of their lives. As I continued to walk down the sidewalk, I thought more deeply about the concept of an island and how isolating it would feel to be on a small island, withou

I recently spoke to a woman whose voice echoed many other women I know. She said she has lost a physical desire to be intimate, for her husband. She often made excuses to avoid sex, and when she did have sex with him, she would just try to “hurry and get it over with” … The thing is, it’s pretty obvious to her husband when she “pretends” and then it just escalates the tension in their relationship and physical intimacy. After we started digging deeper into our conversation,

This photograph reminds me of the book of Song of Songs in the bible, but I realize it's not realistic of what most wives feel like in daily life. A realistic photo might be a mom with her hair in a messy bun, in sweatpants, and collapsing onto the bed after a very long day of wiping noses, kids screaming, dogs barking, and feeling unseen. I in no way want to paint a picture that life is a fairytale and initiating sex with your husband will look like a magical romantic scene

Sexualized talk started back in the 5th grade back when I was growing up. That was the time I started comparing my body against other girls who were starting to develop breasts and get their periods. I was an 80's kid and all was good until that year in school. Can you relate? I remember kids making jokes and writing the phrase "PEN15" on hands and laughing because they were making an inuendo of the word penis, lol. I also remember still playing barbie dolls with my friend

I don’t recall many conversations with my mom about sex. And definitely none with my father. I bet most of us came from a home that was pretty absent of sex education . What I do remember… one time my mom told me that “If I had sex before I was married” she would be disappointed in me . At that point in my teenage life, I really wasn’t motivated to please her. In fact, I did the opposite of what she expected of me because I had a rebellious heart. I was a girl who felt I had

When I was a little girl, I remember sitting around my grandma's table with my many aunts around me. One of them had made this incredible dessert , and everyone raved at how delicious it was! They laughed and laughed as the aunt who made it called it, " Better Than Sex Cake ". I of course had no clue as a little girl what that meant. But I internalized their comments, and it became one of the cultural messages I received around sex growing up. That message was, sex wasn't t

We’re closing in on the end of the year. How’s the year been for you? Are you tired, worn out? Do you feel excited for the possibilities of the New Year? What’s your overall satisfaction level in your marriage? Have you grown closer or further apart this year? I want you to to take some time this week walking back through this past year . First, do it alone. Ask God to reveal to you how you have shown up for your spouse… how have you built them up, spoke life into them, and

So far in my previous four blog posts on The 12 Gifts of Intimacy during Christmas, I've laid out 12 ideas for you and your spouse to grow in Emotional, Experiential, Spiritual, and Physical intimacy together. For this last post in this series, I'm providing 12 ideas for growing together mentally. These kinds of activities help you engage thoughts and feelings from your spouse. The deeply engaging the conversation is, the better! When couples simply talk about their da

So far, I’ve given you 12 ideas to cultivate Emotional , Experiential , and Spiritual intimacy in your relationship. If you missed those reads, go back and look at my previous blog posts. For this one, I’m going to give you 12 gift ideas to give yourselves as Christmas gifts that can help you keep that romantic and physical intimacy growing… so read this with your spouse and discuss together how you are growing together in your sexual intimacy . Then see if any of these p

I recently took a trip and visited a church that handed out amazing Advent devotional books. I used to focus on the season of Advent more when my kids were young. We'd do the Joshua Tree project or some other family devotional that taught them the Christmas story of Jesus coming into the world. But I admit, as life has changed, I have let go of some of those family traditions. I thought about how important it is to continue this with my husband, and not just for the sake o

So, how’s Christmas shopping coming along? I hope you’ve got your tree up and have bought at least half of your Christmas list of presents so far! As a continuation of my 5 part series, this post constrains 12 gifts of experiential intimacy ideas to do with your spouse. In the first post I shared 12 ideas to cultivate emotional intimacy. In this section, these little mini dates are designed to cultivate fun , creativity , and adventure within your relationship. Having act

Tis the season for buying lots of presents and overspending on the monthly budget... Christmas shopping is fun, but also stressful! This time of year brings lots of opportunities for intimate moments ... maybe a cozy movie with your spouse near the sparkling lights of the Christmas tree and the beautiful glow of a fire, while sipping hot coco, or wine, or hey maybe a bourbon. But it can also be a doozy of a month full of conflict and tension from the added stress of the "to

If I were to create a poll and offer it to the general public asking, “What is the number one thing needed for successful intimacy in a relationship?”, - What do you think the answer would be? I think the top answer would be “ communication”. And I’d say that’s a really great answer because communication is a huge factor in cultivating a vibrant and healthy relationship. It’s not easy for some people to talk about things that create deep intimacy . It makes them feel vulner

I watched a documentary this week, reminding me of my favorite hero of faith, Corrie Ten Boom . Well, Corrie wasn’t even married so why do I write about her in my marriage intimacy blog? Because this woman was full of God’s wisdom . She went through unspeakable things and because of that, she has a perspective about life that we all need to hold onto. After her release from consentration camp, Corrie traveled across the world speaking on the love of Jesus, salvation , and f

My mirror can somedays be my best friend… those days where my hair is on point, my body seems radiant and I had a good workout. My makeup glistens like sunbeams and I strut out that door with confidence. Other days, that mirror betrays me and becomes my worst enemy. I look like a bloated marshmallow, my wrinkles seem to be glaring at me from under a magnifying glass, and my hair is a frazzled dazzled mess. Then, walking out that bathroom door, I just feel crummy. I kinda wish

There is absolutely no part of my finite brain that can understand the complexity of physics when I start thinking about exactly how a three stranded cord is exponentially stronger than only two strands. Nor, how braiding these three cords would affect the overall strength of them together. And thanks to the help from AI Overview, I learned that a braided cord of three strands is not simply three times as strong as a single strand; it is potentially up to 50% stronger than a

The name for my coaching business came from the verse in the Bible from John 15:4, "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me." Our goal is to bear much fruit in our marriages and in the world, but we can't do that unless we are truly abiding in Christ. My mission is to help couples abide in Him first so that they can work together to bear much fruit, in their relationship with o