The Art of Spooning

Ok it is absolutely freeezing outside, even here in the deep south of the US. Who wants to just skip work, grab their spouse and get under the covers to keep warm??!!

Going back to my post from Ecclesiastes 4 "A Cord of Three Strands" verse 11 states, "Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?"

Without modern heating, spooning was a more necessary practice to keep warm in the cold temps of winter...

Maybe it's not physically necessary these days, I want to advocate for spooning your spouse regularly for other benefits for your physical health and relationship...

Top Benefits of Spooning:

1. Lowers Stress and Cortisol

   Close body contact (especially skin-to-skin) reduces cortisol (the stress hormone), helping the body shift out of fight-or-flight and into rest-and-digest.

   
   

2. Increases Oxytocin

   The feel-good bonding hormone with your spouse, fulfilling non-sexual secure touch.

   
   

3. Improves Sleep Quality

   Couples who cuddle before or during sleep often fall asleep faster and experience deeper rest.

4. Supports Emotional Regulation

   Spooning helps regulate emotions, especially for partners who struggle with anxiety, shame, or emotional withdrawal, or resentment toward their partner.

   
   

5. Reduces Feelings of Loneliness and Depression

   Spooning increases feelings of belonging and connection, key protective factors against depression.

   
   

6. Can Lower Blood Pressure and HR

   Gentle touch, especially skin to skin, activates the parasympathetic nervous system, supporting cardiovascular health.

   
   

7. Increases Emotional Intimacy

   Non-sexual touch builds intimacy without pressure, which often leads to greater emotional safety and long-term sexual satisfaction.

If you're the type that can't fall asleep cuddling that close, that's ok. Try doing it for at least 15 minutes before you go to sleep. You can choose to talk or be silent. You can pray together, or practice breathing in and out at the same rhythmic pace, which is an even stronger emotional bonding experience and emotional regulation.

Try changing roles on who is the "Big Spoon" vs "Little Spoon". Size and gender do not matter on this. I think men need to feel their partner surrounding them too, even if their wives are smaller in body frame. If you're not comfortable, use pillows or make adjustments until you "fit in a nice little niche" together.

It's amazing that when you are attuned to your spouse and practice spooning regularly, you can absolutely just fall into this natural physically enmeshed space automatically, down to leg and hand placements with your spouse that feel like "home".

If you need extra help with non-sexual touch building exercises, reach out to me: kristi@abidinglovecoach.com and I'll be happy to help!

Love,

Kristi