The 12 Gifts of Intimacy Part 3: Spiritual

I recently took a trip and visited a church that handed out amazing Advent devotional books. I used to focus on the season of Advent more when my kids were young. We'd do the Joshua Tree project or some other family devotional that taught them the Christmas story of Jesus coming into the world. But I admit, as life has changed, I have let go of some of those family traditions. I thought about how important it is to continue this with my husband, and not just for the sake of my children.

I know you are busy. I know life is hectic. But I urge you to sit down with your spouse and pick out a few of these 12 gifts of Spiritual Intimacy to engage with your spouse. You will grow closer to God together and with each other through this beautiful season of Advent.

1. A Year of Scripture Promises Jar:

   Use ChatGPT (for a quick easy solution) and print out 52 bible verses focused on marriage, hope, love, unity, and gratitude. Cut them, fold, and place in a decorative jar. Each week in the upcoming year, pull one out together and discuss how it applies to your relationship.

2. Create A Shared Prayer Journal:

   Pick out a journal together and begin writing down prayers and praises together. Take turns as you share your heart with God on paper. When the book is filled, review it together and celebrate the prayers God has answered together.

3. A Marriage Verse Art Print:

   Choose a scripture that will be your guiding verse for the upcoming year in your marriage. Create a cardstock page either handwritten, decorated, or on the computer and print it, frame it, and hang it in your bedroom as a daily reminder.

4. Quarterly Marriage Retreat Days:

   Gift a schedule of four spiritual retreat days in the upcoming year. These can be mini getaways to pray, read, talk about spiritual direction, reconnect with God and with each other. (Even if you can't get away, schedule a specific spiritual "Stay-Dates"

5. A Couples Devotional:

   Pick out a couple's bible study or devotional together and commit to reading it together faithfully as you head into the new year.

6. A Worship Playlist For Your Marriage:

   Build a shared playlist with your spouse to create songs that reflect your spiritual relationship journey together. There are lots of good love songs that also specifically honor God out there. Look some up if you don't already have some in mind. :)

7. Prayer Walk Adventures:

   Create a "voucher booklet" of 12 prayer walks - one for each month, where you walk a trail or neighborhood together, and pray together over your marriage, family, work, neighbors and friends, and life dreams.

8. Adopt - A - Scripture Challenge:

   Choose one scripture each month to memorize together and embody as a couple through actions, attitudes, and intentional habits.

9. Affirmation / Blessing Envelopes:

   Write 12 spiritual affirmation cards for your spouse that speak life over them - their identity in Christ, how God is shaping them, and what gifts you see in them.

10. Gratitude Board:

    Create a board (maybe corkboard, or posterboard) with pen and sticky-notes handy. Throughout the coming year, write down points of gratitude you have toward your spouse for them to notice and read as a surprise affirmation.

11. Service Project Date:

    Plan a ministry-focused service project together, either initiating one yourselves or jump into one that exists in your community. Sign up and let your love for God and each other be turned into action.

12. Read Song of Songs Together:

    Pick a romantic evening or morning together, put some rose petals on the bed, wear some sensual lingerie and read this book of the bible, remembering how God cares about your passion for each other in marriage.

Sometimes we can get overwhelmed by the options we have to create intimacy in marriage, especially spiritual intimacy. These ideas are not meant to give you "one more thing to do". Rather, I want you to consider which few would help you grow together the most. The point is to grow together spiritually, and to abide in Christ. I want you to have a deeply intimate marriage and of course, that takes work. These ideas are meant to just help you have a list of ideas ready.

I love you dear friends, and am praying for your marriage!